i have so much to be thankful for, so why am i not falling on my knees in praise to You? it's not fair to You. i don't want to deny You praise, & i don't want to make excuses. i do, however, feel like i am being pulled in a million different directions. while all of these things are blessings, nursing school is so demanding, work is stressful, leading awana is tiring... just thinking about it all causes my head to hurt. and i KNOW i've been shorting you. where's that daily time i was going to set aside to study the Bible? i've been stuck on the same page for close to two weeks now. whenever i'm not at church or school or the hospital or the rec center or wherever i need to be, i'm home working on homework or catching up on some much needed sleep. but don't i need You so much more? when i'm in Your Word, i feel fulfilled, like i don't need sleep or food or anything; it satisfies all my needs. i'm asking for endurance so i can keep it all together AND form a relationship with You. i don't want to give anything up, but if that's what it takes to get on track, then so be it. please help me determine what i should do. be the One who holds me up when i am weak (which is pretty much all the time), and remind me that i am Yours & only Yours. so much comfort and joy can strength can come just from realizing that.
i loved the service at bcm on wednesday about extending grace to others (eph. 4). the analogy adam used really hit me. he said that the people that we need to extend grace to are the ones who, if put on trial in front of a judge and jury, would be found guilty. guilty for the ways they have hurt us, guilty for the terrible mistakes they've made. but that's exactly how i was found on trial in front of You - guilty. but You sent Your Son to be the ransom for my sin, and i'll never understand why You care so much for me, but i will always be thankful.
& i want to show You just how thankful i am.
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