I know You're working for me and not against me, and I know you have my best interests in mind...
even if I don't realize it.
I keep struggling with this. How could You not want me to go to Africa? Is this Satan attacking me? You give authority to Satan; he can't move without You giving him the go ahead. So it really all comes back to You. I'm not doubting, but I am questioning. I know know KNOW Your ways are higher and I cannot comprehend them. But it still keeps chipping away at my mind. This seems like the perfect time to go! Next year I won't be able to go, because I will be starting a new job. And then from there on I can't go because it is so hard to get time off of work. And I'll eventually marry and have a family.
And I've just looked back at those last few sentences and feel so silly. Why am I planning my life? I don't know what opportunities and blessings You have for my future. There must be some reason You don't want me to go, and I can trust in that. Maybe I'm just not ready emotionally, physically, spiritually. Maybe I can be more of a servant in West Virginia this summer. Maybe I will do more for You if I go later in my life.
It's just upsetting when I've had my hope set on this trip for half a year. Whatever happens, I will have faith in You. You never said my life would be simple. I trust in You. I pray You help me make wise decisions about this, and that I accept whatever ends up happening.
If I go to Africa this summer, I will be all I can for YOU.
& if I stay in Kenova this summer, I promise I will be all I can for YOU.
I just wanted to add a few words. Sometimes I feel frustrated by the way many believers feel as though they have to go overseas to do mission work. There are so many mission areas in the Huntington area that need addressed and everyone is so focused on other places.
ReplyDeleteGranted, the people in Africa and various parts of the world are in dire need of attention, but how many people in need do we ignore every day who are among us? Why travel 3,000 miles for a mission when you have several within a 3 block radius.
If the Lord wants you to go to Africa, He will make a way. He always does. Until then, be a missionary in your daily life! :) Oh, and there's nothing wrong with having a plan for your life, just make sure you're ready to be flexible when the need arises.